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For those still mourning the loss of Jack Quigleys, do not despair. The Sports Page has announced two new weekly events that will certainly turn that frown upside down.

Wednesday is Ladies Night
$2 drink specials
Half-priced appetizers and pitcher specials from 4-7 p.m.
oh, and did I forget to mention KARAOKE?!

Do you remember going to Bananas on Ladies Night, getting tanked on half a dozen watered down well drinks only to have some pervy guy grind against you all night? Why did that always seem like a good idea? Was it really worth putting up with that to get drunk on the cheap?

Tonight is the first such ladies night at the building’s new incarnation, the Sports Page. I can only guess it will be a completely different situation with far less groping involved. Plus, the karaoke fills a major void in this town. It seems like downtown Portsmouth has to have at least one bar besides D Street that allows lame dudes to belt out Creed songs at the top of their lungs.

If you happen to be a guy and were feeling left out of this inexpensive events calendar, don’t dispair because Thursday night shall now be known as ...

Thirsty Thursday
$1 (domestic) drafts until 11 p.m.
Half-priced appetizers and pitcher specials from 4-7 p.m.
There’s no karaoke, but music is provided by a DJ

It wasn’t until I moved back to NH after college that I learned the term Thirsty Thursday. I’m into it, not because it encourages people to drink excessively on a weeknight but it acknowledges the fact that people in their early 20s don’t do shit on Fridays. Please, relive the college experience and have a Miller Lite for me. I unfortunately work Thursday nights.