« What to do? Everything! | Main | Do it for the kids! »

Dick Cupid, adult film star

Joe “Spam” Leary said farewell to Portsmouth on Wednesday after many years of throwing parties and keeping the dishes clean at the Friendly Toast. In the last few years, Spam has ventured into the world of hairstyling with great aplomb and is known on the streets of Portsmouth for his great winter coats and large eye wear.

Leary is most famously known for being the brains and brawn behind the annual Big Kids Prom. What started as a goofy hipster fest for the employees and associates of the Toast has grown into a psuedo-serious formal event. Last time I went, I was overwhelmed with the number of girls who wore full-fledged gowns and the number of guys in tuxes. The first year I went, I felt out of place because I wasn’t wearing a lace-up bodice. Oh, how times change.

This year, I was unable to attend due to, well, let’s just say it was a bout of great fatigue. The theme was Welcome to the Jungle and to complement the tropical decorations, Spam wore a suit one might expect to see on Fred Flintstone, but more flattering and stylish.

That’s probably how I would sum up Leary’s tenure in Portsmouth: damn stylish.

And his style was infectious. I always thought there was this feeling in town that if you were going to a Spam event, you had to look good. If you didn’t, you lost your cred in this town. I never really understood this, but I feel the tone was set by Leary. It inspired people like me, who are sometimes apt to chicken out of dressing up, to really blow it out. I liked that about him.

Leary is now in LA, being fabulous and thinking about how long it will be before he breaks out the assless chaps at the local karaoke bar. Speculation is he will be back soon enough and if the recent record of Portsmouth ex-pats is any indication, I give him 18 months. Whichever coast you're on, Spam, I wish you well. May you land the greatest of thrift store finds during your time in the sleaziest of city.