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It never ceases to amaze me the totally ridiculous crap I find when screwing around on the Internet. Yesterday, as I was looking for photos of Portsmouth on Google for another entry and I came across this one:

I know! Check out the girl on the far left. She's my favorite.

So of course I clicked on it and was taken to the miraculously trashy Brewery Lane Tavern Web site. I could spend hours here, truly. Judging from the site, this is where the funnest girls in town hang out. They're hot, they wear skimpy clothes, they all seem to be Red Sox fans and they looooooooove to drink.

Now I've heard my guy friends talk about the "Booby Lane Tavern" a few times, but I didn't realize how incredibly over the top this place is. The only time I've ever been there was when the Herald sent me to interview dudes about the big sports game. Here's how that usually went:

BL (to table of 30-something guys in sports gear and white hats): Umm, hey guys, can I talk to you about the game?

Any guy: Hey, what's your name? Do you want a drink? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you think my friend here is cute? He's single. What did you say your name was again? Are you going to quote me on this?

With this experience under my belt, I thought the BLT was a place where tons of dudes go to check out the hot waitresses and bartenders, you know, like the Sports Page. But lordy was I wrong. I mean, look at these girls! They are freakin' hot! Plus there's all this other fun stuff going on, like karaoke and dance parties and a bikini contest?! (By the way, what girl is brave enough to strut around a bar wearing what is essentially nothing more than your bra and panties in front of tons of dudes? I would die of an anxiety attack from worrying about whether or not I had razor burn alone.) The more and more I began to look at what the B LT had to offer, the more I was like, "Why the hell haven't I been hanging out here all my life?"

So please, I invite you to take a spin on the BLT's Myspace page, go on the Virtual Tour, print out your own events calendar and then, take a look at the Holy Grail of Web Pages, the customer photos. Here are a few of my favorites:

Bet the wife-to-be loves that this photo is up on the Internet.

Clean' up for the health inspector!

Cash Rules Everything Around Me (hey, is that Jason Varitek in the background?)