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Summer Expectations

Oh, sweet freedom.

Is there really anything better or more exhausting than a summer in Portsmouth, New Hampshire? Each year, I make all these grand plans to go to the beach every weekend, grow an enormous garden bursting with veggies and spend my nights sipping cocktails with all my seasonal friends. And every year Labor Day rolls around and I think, shit, I didn't do half the stuff I wanted to do. If only I were independently wealthy.

This summer, I have no illusions. I know I'm not going to do all the things I want, but I still can't help myself from making a list. This year, I tried to keep it modest:

1. See a film at the Portsmouth Music Hall

Every year, I grab the calendar of movies, post it on the fridge, circle five or six I HAVE to see and then around Aug. 1 realize I missed everything good and the only movie left to see is Mission Impossible III. This year, I'm not entirely thrilled with the classic foreign film theme (bring back the summer of Caddyshack and Animal House please!), but I am very excited about the late summer showing of Severence. This British film chronicles a group of weapons company employees on a team-building retreat. It has all the classic elements of a modern day horror flick. It's set in the middle of nowhere Eastern Europe, it plays on the arrogant American/British view that everyone hates us because we rule the world, and most scary of all, it takes place during a corporate team-building retreat. (Have you every been on one of those thing? I shudder to think.)

2. See a tall ship

When I worked at the Herald, I was given the prime assignment of covering the arrival of America's Tall Ship, the U.S. Coast Guard's training ship, the Eagle. I had to be down at the port at 5:45 a.m., ride out for about an hour in a stuffy Coast Guard vessel, jump onto a Coast Guard gunner -- with no sides -- in the middle of the ocean, ride the high seas toward the tall ship while holding onto dear life, and then jump onto a rickety staircase and climb aboard. Once on board the Eagle, I shook the sea sickness but was soon doused by a heavy rain storm. By the time I got off the ship and had to write my story at 10 a.m., I looked like a drowned rat with a soggy notebook. Not fun.

This year, I'd like to check out the ships while docked on a nice sunny day. It's easier to pretend I'm sea worthy when the boat's not moving. The Prince William, from Portsmouth, England, will sail into Portsmouth Harbor on July 6, joined by the Pride of Baltimore and the Spirit of Bermuda. They stay until July 8.

3. Eat some seafood outside, preferably on a checkered table cloth

Fried clams, onion rings, steamers, fried haddock, lobster -- they all make the list. Of course, accompanied by an ice cold beer or fine white wine.

4. Work on smoothing out the farmers tan

OK, so I'm not one of those girls who's like, Oh, I have to get a killer tan this summer, but I am willing to (embarrassingly) admit that I really want to get rid of my farmers tan this summer. It started the years I worked on the decks and I haven't been able to shake it since. Every summer I find my arms get darker and my chest stays white. I guess I have to start wearing more low cut shirts.

Why the need to cultivate a smooth bronzed tone? June 21, 2007 not only marked the first day of summer, but also the 365 day mark until my wedding. Call me cheap, but there is no way in hell I'm going to spend $80 giving myself skin cancer in a tanning booth the weeks before the big day when I can just slowly work on it naturally this summer. Plus, it gives me an excuse to get outside.

5. See some fireworks

Nothing's more romantic in the entire world. Gets me every freakin' time. *sigh*

6. Take a late night skinny dippin' trip

When I was 19, I lived a simple life. I would work during the day at Market Basket, go home, eat some dinner and take a nap, call my friends, meet up, get wasted and then hit the Dunkin' Donuts for some munchies. Before calling it a night, we would head to someone's pool and go skinny dipping. I don't think I've done it since that summer, but I would again in a heart beat.

Posted by blamontagne at 09:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The Full Monty

Watch out ladies. Lorenzo's coming to town.

I don't know anyone under the age of 45 that has ever stepped foot inside the historic Ogunquit Playhouse, but I'm thinking maybe I should try to make a trip out there this summer. Celebrating its 75th anniversary, the playhouse will be hosting some amazing guest actors. Entitled the 2007 Diamond Jubilee season, this outstanding summer line up includes Menopause the Musical, The King and I, and Hairspray. But first, I must mention the play that first caught my eye:

The Full Monty, feat. Sally Struthers and Hunter Foster (some broadway guy)
Main Stage Show Times & Ticket Prices:
Tuesday-Friday Evenings 8:00 PM - $43
Saturday Evening 8:30 PM - $48
Wednesday & Thursday Matinees 2:30 PM - $39
Saturday & Sunday Matinees: 3:30 PM - $41

Yes, that's right. Sally Struthers, little Gloria, will be in a play, in Ogunquit, Maine, called The Full Monty. I couldn't believe it either.

Other highlights include:

Lorenzo Lamas of the Bold and the Beautiful fame, will play the starring role in The King and I. Everybody's favorite Golden Girl, Rue McClanahan, will be appearing in Crazy for You and Eddie Mekka will be starring in Hairspray. Who's Eddie Mekka, you ask. None other than Carmine Ragusa of the wacky 70s sitcom Lavern and Shirley.

Posted by blamontagne at 04:51 PM | Comments (1)

It's Miller Time

It's coooooommiiiiing...

You know what's great about busting your hump for eight days straight? Having it be over. (If I hear one more Republican talk about why English needs to be the national language, I might just gouge my eye out with my pen.)

Since Memorial Day, the overwhelming amount of work I've had to tackle has severely cut into my socializing time. But now, with a three day weekend ahead of me, I can sit back, enjoy the lovely weather and get caught up on all I missed.

So wasn't I taken aback as I poured through my back issues of the Herald to see that Market Square Day is this Saturday. Now, I know. Everyone HATES Market Square Day. It's just a bunch of white trash yahoos pouring over junk being sold by vendors that don't even do business in this city. Yes, that all may be true, but for some reason, I can't help but loving the ridiculous day. I don't know if its my Rochester heritage (coming from a city with one of the most glorious and trashy fairs in the state) or if I just can't resist checking out a grand shit show, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't stay away. I mean, what's not to love? Fried food, crappy booths, amazing people watching, the road race, the inevitable batch of beers one ends up drinking by the end of the day.

This being New Hampshire, though, it again looks like the weather will be a little chilly and rainy. MSD probably won't be as fun as it could be, which is fine. I have plans to go to Boston that night anyway and I think it would nearly kill me if I knew the entire city was sitting on some roof deck, enjoying a balmy spring night, drinking PBRs and watching the fireworks without me.

I seriously cannot get over how dickish these guys look here. How do you think this photo went down? "Hey guys, you know what would be totally fucking awesome? If we took a photo of us in suits. I'll go get my bow tie. Now THAT'S badass!"

In other news, did anyone see the front page of the Herald article about the Sports Page? At this point in the game, I feel like making fun of the Sports Page is like kicking a man while he's down, but I still can't deny that feeling of schadenfreude I get whenever I imagine those pompous-looking owners having to deal with the drama they've created for themselves. I think at some point this summer, we'll see the backwards hat wearing silhouette pull in his pointing fingers and turn up the middle ones towards all the bone-headed businessmen who put him up there. Eat. Drink. Score...Sue?

Posted by blamontagne at 11:18 AM | Comments (2)