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It was sort of like this, but the girls were a little hotter.

Finishing up my 14th day of work in a row, I am pleased to announced I've started my four day vacation. Four days? you say. That's not a vacation. A vacation is, like, a whole week or something, right? Well, that may be true, but this was all I could eke out so I'm taking it.

In an attempt to figure out what I was going to do between trips to the Coat, I cracked open Ye Olde Spotlight to see what hot events the city was going to offer me.

Dover Greek Festival? Been there. Done that.

Gilbert and Sullivan Review? I am NOT the very model of a modern major general, thank you.

Tesla at the Hampton Beach Casino? Tempting, for the people watching of course, but the thought of hearing this has-been 90s hairband rasp out "Signs" one more time makes me want to pour acid in my ears.

Susan Tedeschi at the Hampton Beach Casino? Who? Do they play her stuff at Breaking New Grounds?

"San Francisco's rock/jam kings" Tea Leaf Green at the Stone Church? Heeeeeeeeeeeel NO!

God, I don't even have the energy to write yet another tirade about how much Portsmouth has to offer people with a litter of kids and the elderly. Yes, yes, I know. What do I expect. This isn't New York or Boston or even Portland for that matter. I guess I just get annoyed at how OLD this town seems to be getting. All you Gen Xers out there know what I'm talking about. It seems the only time I see young people out doing something besides drinking is when Rocky Horror is playing at the Rep.

Speaking of Rocky at the Rep...

Has anyone noticed the packs of young women running around Portsmouth in their underwear lately? What the hell is this? Not that I don't mind. Folks wearing inappropriate clothing in public is always good for a laugh. It just seems a little odd that a dozen girls would all of sudden be like, "You know, hanging out at this bar is really fun, but you know what would be even better? Taking all of our clothes off and running through the streets of Portsmouth screaming in our skivvies. Wouldn't that just be THE BEST?!?!?!?"

The first two times I saw this was heading from the decks to the Coat. I was coming up that little hill by the Dolphin Striker and crossing toward the Gaslight, when all of a sudden, a pack of screaming 20-something women came tearing up Market Street in their bras and panties. Judging from the kind of underwear they had on (looked normal, not all slutty like they knew someone was going to see it later) it appeared to be a spontaneous act. Just as soon as they appeared, they were up the hill and gone.

About a week later, I AGAIN saw a pack of women, this one much smaller, taking the same route in their drawers up Market Street. Is this a thing I don't know about? Clearly, I am out of loop on this one.

The third undies sighting was last Saturday on Bow Street. I was out in front of the Stockpot chatting with some girls I ran in to when I noticed about a dozen young women decked in corsets, garters, thigh-highs, skimpy panties, boy shorts with bows, you name it. I haven't seen that many ass cheeks hanging out since the locker room at Spaulding High.

The girls weren't running and they weren't screaming. Just sort of being loud and giggly. They came up Bow Street, lead by two of the biggest 40-something dirt bags I've ever seen. The men led the ladies right past us and to their Harley's parked along the street.

"Oh, yes! Get on the bikes!" I yelled, realizing immediately after that everyone of them could hear me. Ooops. So the girls did a few poses by the bikes and after about 10 minutes, the men led the lovely ladies back down Bow Street and toward the Gaslight.

My friends and I then all turned to each other and said, "What the fuck was that?"

Damned if I know.