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This could be you, and might just be me.

Over the past week, I've been in detox mode, trying to rid myself of all the cookies and mashed potatoes I ate over the holidays and all the coffee and booze I downed during the final days of the primary. Tired of the bars, tired of drinking overall really, I've been spending my evenings shopping (if you call hitting Target for undies and laundry detergent shopping), at the gym or on the couch.

Maybe it was the warm weather, or going to an early showing of Cloverfield that got me all ramped up, but I've definitely got the rowdy bug coursing through my veins. I know no matter how tough I talk, I'll probably find myself sipping a pop somewhere out on the town before the end of the weekend.

A quick flip through my rolodex of stuff to do is showing me the usual suspects -- pints at the Coat, martinis and champagne at the Red Door, pitchers at D Street -- none of them were really calling my name. I knew if I was going to have one of THOSE night, I was going to have to dig much deeper. And here's what I found:

Portsmouth Gaslight Beach Party at the Third Floor Club
Saturday, Jan. 12
$10 cover, $5 if you come in "beach attire"

"Leave the winter behind," the Gaslight flier touts, and "take a four hour tropical vacation." By saying tropical vacation, I don't think they're talking romantic getaway to the Bahamas. I'm thinking it's going to be more along the lines of a trip to Sandals with scantily clad women throwing caution to the wind after a couple frozen daiquiris. Don't be surprised if you see a few ladies spending the night grinding their backsides into various dudes' crotches and stumbling home with one of the barbacks after last call.

The Gaslight Beach Party offers tropical drink specials and dancing, and recommends coming in beach attire. I plan to show up in a grass skirt and coconut bra. I hear they have a few left over from the Tiki Bar days. Anyone with me?

Brewery Lane Tavern Heaven and Hell Party
Every Friday night in January
cover? who knows

I don't care who you are, you are going to get into trouble when you hit the Brewery Lane Tavern. I'm not sure what the specifics of this event entail, all I know if there will likely be lots of drinking, lots of cute girls in naughty outfits and some dancing. Oh, and you'll be waking up with a hangover.

Portsmouth Moose Lodge Karaoke
Friday, Jan. 18
8 p.m. to midnight
no cover
1163 Sagamore Road

I don't think there's anything enlightening or witty I can say about this. I don't know if I'm brave enough to head to a Moose Lodge without a mighty entourage, but if any of you are thinking of trying it out, you may want to check ahead by calling 436-9627.

The Ken Clark Organ Trio at the Dolphin Striker
Saturday, Jan. 19
9 p.m.-12:30 a.m.
no cover

This is the best kept secret in Portsmouth. Seeing a band at the Spring Hill Tavern under the Dolphin Striker is like watching your really talented musician friends play in some rich kid's basement. The music is usually a little wacky, but there's tons of expensive liquor at your disposal and the people serving up the drinks are fun and have a heavy hand. Sure, the over-50 crowd loves this joint, but it doesn't mean that a table of you and your friends couldn't turn this shit into a party. Trust me. It beats the hell out of the Jimmy Laponza Lounge.