I have to ask, am I the only one who notices how cheesy restaurant commercials are? Why is the food always wet? Why is it always flying through the air? Seriously. If I walk into the kitchen at Chilis or Wendy's, will I see food prep people tossing wet, sliced red onions back and forth? Will I see wet, chopped tomatoes flying across the counter? It's kind of scary. And the people eating at said restaurant are so ridiculously happy, like they've been waiting all their lives for this very moment. Wow. Is it supposed to make me, a clearly unhappy person since I'm sitting at home while other people live it up at the 99, want to go out to eat? What it really does is creep me out. I don't want to go to a restaurant where airborne lettuce may hit my head and fellow diners are having orgasms over the Endless Pasta special.

Runners up for most cheesy ads would be tooth whitener and Botox. I've never seen scarier smiles. As if anyone walks into a room grinning ear to ear with every tooth exposed at a party (tooth whitener). And who the hell jumps up and down while tossing their heads back, laughing riotously at the thought of Botox? Please, we all know Botox freezes your face no matter how animated the model's smile is.

I found myself wondering also if there's a law that prevents minorities from looking stupid in commercials. Family #1 (white) is upset because their incompetent mother/wife didn't use the good baggies and now their chicken is all freezer-burned. Family #2 (Asian/black/Hispanic/Eskimo) is ecstatic and going to eat well tonight, because their savvy mother/wife went with the good baggies, and Family #2's chicken breasts are vacuum sealed and airtight. Or blonde WASP-y woman walks all the way to the end of the driveway only to have her trash bag burst all over her feet - and AT THAT EXACT MOMENT, as if she were waiting for blondie to take the trash out so she can rub it in - an Hispanic woman trots out her bag which plops neatly into the can. I am ashamed to be a white girl, I will try to improve myself by buying the right bags.

I love the Law Offices of Joe Bornstein ads. I am always tempted to call the 1-800 number and when they ask me how they can help me, I'll say "I don't know, you tell me. Robert Vaughn just told me to call RIGHT NOW."

Honestly cute is the Aquaboggan water park ad with the three big kids in goggles & trunks sitting in a baby pool, waving. "Wave pool." Get it?

But you gotta love the "thunderthighs and badonkadonk butt" commercial from Subway's :-)
My kids went around for weeks with goofy smiles on their faces every time they said it.

You want scary Madison Avenue? This concept fills me with fear...

ABC developing Cavemen Comedy pilot based on Geico ads

*shudder*

I know I mentioned her before, but when you were talking about the flying food in the kitchen it reminded me of the 'Restaurant Song' by Laurel Brauns. It begins
"I think I'll chug a beer in the walk-in
cause the manager is high on Oxycontins
and the people on the deck they can't believe the view..."

My son likes that song too, he skips ahead to hear it.

Laurel Brauns is at the Press Room on 26 July. :)

Thanks. I just got to see her at Prescott Park, she was awesome and I got to meet her too. I think she took off with my heart. :)

I saw her at the Pressroom. Some of her lyrics are dark or sad, but she's the cheeriest, friendliest person you ever met.

Lately I've been relistening to Bob Dylan Live 1975 (the Bootleg Series Vol. 5) What a creative writer and confident performer. Many of the lyrics are still so relevant.

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