So what's this I mean when I say racial tension? Well, living in Maine doesn't exactly expose one to a cultural rainbow. The schools go heavy on Martin Luther King, Jr in January, and segue easily into Black History Month during February. My eight year old can tell you all about MLKJ and name at least 10 African American heroes of the past, not to mention a play-by-play recall of the history of slavery in the United States. He is virtually saturated in diversity training at school. Problem is, he doesn't really get to practice it. He has one biracial child in his class; a lovely boy whom my son has gone to school with since Kindergarten.

It seems unfortunate that he isn't as immersed in diversity as I was growing up as a military brat, but when I take a closer look at things, I can't help but wonder if he's actually fortunate to be avoiding stereotypes and racial tension. He doesn't have a clue that some white people still hate black people and vice versa. I hope when he's grown up and ready to do some traveling himself, he'll take his untainted, "everybody really is equal" attitude with him and spread it around.

I noticed as we traveled down through Massachusetts, Maryland, Delaware, NJ, et al that the diversity at the rest stops was steadily growing. My son asked me at a restaurant "Mommy, how come there are so many brown skinned people here?" I explained to him that for whatever reason there just aren't that many other colors in Maine, but he should expect a lot more different people as he travels the country. He was happy with that. He was fascinated by all the colors, languages and accents that we encountered as we traveled southward. He was particularly taken with a young Mexican boy about his age who had a brindle colored Chihuahua on a string. As the child's father and brother spoke to one another in Spanish, the boy's lilting accent accentuated his speech as he told my son, "We call him Tiger because he has stripes like the tiger." My son could identify with this child completely. Skin color, accents, and parents who speak another language were not a factor for my son when sharing his love for tiny dogs with this other boy. It was heart lifting.

Anyway, once we settled in Virginia, I couldn't help but notice that things weren't all melting-pot brotherly love. My sister and her family are in the minority in most parts of her town. I could sense the tension in casual comments made by white people I encountered.

At the beach, I noticed a family had left behind empty bottles, wrappers and cigarette butts in the sand. There were five trash cans within tossing distance of this mess! I made a comment about how disgusting that was and heard, "They don't care about making a filthy mess for others to clean."

"They," was I supposed to surmise, were black people? But what about the family to our left? They were black people. I observed the mother chasing a stray Kleenex for about five yards and they were meticulous about cleaning their mess.

As I got into an elevator at the hotel, a black man entered with me. He was wearing tourist casual - nice jeans, a polo shirt and some loafers. He was about my age. At the next floor, a middle aged white woman boarded the lift and glanced toward the black man but not at his face. "To the lobby please?" she said to him. I had to stop my mouth from falling open. I could not believe this woman assumed that this black man on the elevator was actually working the elevator. To this guy's credit, he did not even blink. He simply grinned and pushed "L" for her. When she exited the lift she tossed a meek "Thank you" over her shoulder at him. The guy must have an unbelievable tolerance level.

It has been a long time since I lived anywhere but New Hampshire or Maine and I forget what it's like to be immersed in cultural diversity. I forget what it's like to be directly exposed to black American culture - i.e., rap music, bling, ebonics, etc - all of which were present in crowds of teenagers in Virginia. I don't know any black people in Virginia and didn't hang out much and so I didn't get a fair and balanced view of racial tensions.

Having only spent a week there I am not exactly reeling with culture shock but I am a bit disoriented by it. I don't really remember a lot of racial tension when I was growing up in the racially integrated Air Force, other than the usual cliques which were more defined by musical tastes and class than by race.

Aside from the bubble of weirdness that was the realization that racial tensions do in fact still exist in this country, I had a spectacular time in Virginia. I got quite attached to the hotel pool, which turned out to be an oasis in the heat wave where children get along famously, get lots of exercise and get tired out enough to fall asleep without a hassle. I got to know my sister and my nieces again and finally meet her fiancee, who is definitely a keeper. My sister in her new relationship is more like the old girl I grew up with - silly, happy, funny, and loveable. My nieces are such personalities, with the oldest grabbing my heart because she is so much like I was at that age, and the youngest overflowing with comedic possibility. Virginia was beautiful, the skies were fantastic, the countryside ravishing and the prices low. But, I love New England and could never move. I wish so much they lived closer to me in New England. I wonder how they'd handle the culture shock!

I have an interesting comment regarding the elevator incident. These things happen and without thinking people enable the actions that keep the stereotypes going. Take for instance, what happened to me a few weeks ago. I am the only woman on a 5 person team here in OZ and have been struggling to get my finger in the pie so that I can do my job effectively for nine months. Well, one day a member of our team sent out a meeting request for a team meeting with the statement "I don't know how to schedule a meeting room, can one of you,,,, Sharon? Set this up for me?". Now I used to be a secretary, but as a manager, I was extremely offended. The correct answer would have been, "let me show you how to do that yourself", but in the interest of getting along, I did schedule the meeting room. Wrong thing to do!! Why? Because, I enabled the stereotype to be enforced.

I did save myself the next day at the meeting... I entered the room asking the guy if I could get his coffee for him. A curious look from him, gave me the opportunity to let him know that I was only doing the job that he asked me to do the day before. He has since, learned to schedule his own meeting rooms.

Now, before the secretaries of the world get angry at my implication that a secretary is a lowly job, it isn't. But, then there is another stereotype I am enforcing... oopss... I have a male friend who is a secretary and he would be sore offended. Sorry dude... :) I guess the point is that being a woman does not mean that the menial tasks should come to me.

In the case of the guy in the elevator, the man should have ignored the request rather than complied. He allowed the woman to treat him with disrespect. The truth is, prejudice will only be conquered if we make an effort not to enable it to happen and put it in it's place.

I'm glad you are back... :)

Shaz

Very interesting subject. I have 2 stories to relate. The first one was told to me by a guy I used to work with. He was in the Navy stationed in Virginia as a young buck. He had a white 'hot rod' with a couple Confederate flags flying at the back. That was a completely innocent thing for a northern kid back then. It was just to be cool. He decided to take a drive around Virginia one day and eventually stopped at a little roadside bar. It had been bright outside but it was dim inside. After a minute his eyes adjusted and he realized everyone in the bar was black. The bartender told him this was his lucky day. Just go back out, go left, keep driving and don't look back. I appologize if that story perpetuates a sterotype. It's just how I was told.

Story #2. When I went to Roanoke, VA with my friend to retrieve the VW from my ex I had printed out a map of the local area from my map program. Except for one mistake in the map, I knew what I was doing as long as we stayed in the map area. My friend is from Missouri (from some of the stories it could also be pronounced 'misery'). She's made many trips back and forth. She enjoys taking the car and just randomly driving and driving not knowing where she's going or where she is. This is fine around New England. She did this one day there till we got off the map area and I started getting a bit nervous, partly I suppose because of the first story. The more I seemed to fret the more she thought it was funny. Finally I got out and asked directions from one of the darkest, roundest women I'd seen. She really was nice in hindsight, but I'd have enjoyed the moment much more if I wasn't so nervous about being lost down there.

Hope I'm not boring you, but I have to share this from a newspaper in New Mexico. It's kind of like the Phoenix or the Wire here. This guy named Gustavo Arellano has a column called "Ask a Mexican". I love it. Here's one:

Dear Mexican: "Why do Mexicans call white people gringos?"

Dear Gabacho: "Mexicans do not call gringos gringos. Only gringos call gringos gringos. Mexicans call gringos gabachos."

He's funny and educational at the same time. He even has a book called...."Ask a Mexican" He says it started as a one-time joke (the column) that he would scrap if no one sent in questions.

Dear Mexican: "I'm a gringa married to a mexicano and we have a 3 year old son. His family is wonderful for the most part and they adore my son, but as he is getting older, his tios are trying to "toughen him up" and make him more macho. So far they've taught him to cuss (in both languages) and flip people off (like his preschool teacher). Lately, they've taught him to say inappropriate things about women's bodies. I've talked to my husband but he doesn't seem to want to say anything to them and doesn't seem to care. How can I get them to stop?"

Dear Gabacha: Knock machismo all you want-and I'll join you in a bit-but this most reviled of all gender roles isn't the horror show people make it out to be. There's nothing wrong with men teaching boys how to become hombres and navigate this vida loca, or for the males of a species to instill a sense of responsibility and pride in thier sons so they can assist family and community; indeed, that's a cornerstone value of all sentient beings. Where being macho crosses the border of good taste is when it becomes a mockery of itself, and that's not limited to Mexicans-look at the thuggery in hip-hop, or our Pendejo-in-Chief. Now, about your specific complaints against the in-laws: Better your darling hijo learn about lechery from familia instead of strangers, no? But tell the uncles to can the vulgarities until your kid's at least old enough to hotwire a car.

Glad to hear a wonderful time was had by all -thanks for sharing the pictures!

(I have some very insightful comments about racial tension, but since my brain is closed for the holiday, I can't access them at the moment... sorry.... *grin*)

You might be interested in this:

Songwriters for a Sustainable Future (Friends of Live Earth)
At the Stone Church in Newmarket 7/7/07 7pm

http://friendsofliveearth.com/page/event/detail/friendsofliveearth/w73#rsvp

Just a casual observation. Why is the new Home Depot in Portsmouth bilingual in English/Spanish instead of English/French? Aren't we closer to Canada here? Or can the Canadians get thier lumber cheaper at home? Just wondering.

It looks like you had a great time! I love that area so much and hope to move there one day myself. :-) That whole mideast area down there is strange though, with regards to racial tension. Either you have individuals who completely embrace diversity and merge cultures or you have the fringe people or you have the lunatic politically correctniks. I remember when I worked in Maryland, my shop was was going to vehemently embrace racial diversity and therefore a committee was to be established with a person representing each gender and each race within our various sections. My girlfriend went into the thing rather lightheartedly and jokingly suggested that she could be representative of two sections of office because she was both black and female --- you could hear a pin drop in the office. The outrage! Finally, one old stonefaced woman closed her mouth and said, "No, you may only represent one member of your section, now are you black or are you a female?" I think they missed the boat on that one.

What is really silly is that people have to be forced to accept others by promoting policies to force equal participation based on minority status. I don't understand that concept. The only way we are going to stop prejudice is to stop giving it validity.

For example, back in the beginning of the 20th century, if someone said they wouldn't hire someone because they were Italian, it would have been acceptable. But, if they tried that now, people would look at them and tell them that they are idiots. Why?? Because the Italian people decided to ignore all those ignorant people and pull themselves together to be successful. Same with the Irish and the Jewish people. The attitude was basically not to give credence to ignorant prejudicial people, work hard and succeed.

There should never be an in your face "you have to change to accept me", it should be "That's fine, don't accept me, I don't need you". I think if you look at those minorities who are facing the most difficulties being accepted, you will see that they are the ones trying to force others to accept them.

I agree. It's all nonsense because, in the end, it doesn't really matter what your color or culture is, your life is based upon experiences --- good and bad, and everyone should be able to identify with that. Forced minority participation in groups more often than not ends up educating people on their differences instead of focusing on similarities. I laughed at a few of the meetings because I learned more racial stereotypes and insults going out than I knew coming in. I, as an individual know that who I am will never be determined by what another person says, does or believes; I know that I am teaching my children the very same. True acceptance means to look at a person for who they are and not what they represent.

I had an interesting experience once. At a job I held, an older woman in the bindery dept. was asked to train a younger male for what she thought was going to be her helper. 3 of us ended up getting laid off during a reorg; the older woman, her brother and I. She ended up winning a claim of age and sex descrimination and got her job back with back pay and vacation time. I went to the state to find out more information for myself and was told there were 'no laws regarding hiring and firing.'
Anyway, an interesing side note is the company ended up in financial trouble and an employee bought the company and is still sucessful today, the last I knew. Lincoln Press in Sanford. Go Andy!

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