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"Excuse me, do you carry Pink Floyd's THE WALL?"
(yes, it's in drama)

"How many copies of Under The Tuscan Sun do you have on DVD?"
(FIVE -- which is a lie, since it's three, but really two, since one is broken)

"Which movies do you have starring Angelina Jolie ?"
(this was asked a LOT .. mostly by teen boys)

When it comes to video store questions, you name it, I've heard it.

For years and years and years, I was living the life seen in Kevin Smith's CLERKS.
I was working in a video rental store, near a certain convenience store,
but only after the place had moved from a downtown location . .
now, by working at this place, after the move, I was literally living across the street from my job.
And what did I experience ? Total movie overload.
I would rent about a half dozen movies, and whether I watched them or not, I'd return them on time,
and get out another bunch. This went on for about two years, the non-stop close-to-home renting, until I left the job, simply because I moved outta town.

Sometimes I think, gee, why'd I quit the greatest job in the world ?
I'd give people recs, straighten the shelves, and WOW! the customers when I knew EXACTLY where that hidden VHS was. Yeah. I was good, I knew it, and didn't feel bad about having the same job for six years. It was just what I did, and little everyday hassles were a snap for me.

Now, about those movies ::
I think I officially racked up a total rental history of about 6,000 . . maybe more, maybe less. But that's my best guess, from two separate store locations. And it's still going up every single day.

During hours at the store, I'd put on movies. But not new stuff. . oh no. I had to have seen it before and know if the content was suitable for the time of day.

The Usuals ::
Anything PG (post 1985)-
stuff like The Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail are excellent for all hours.
And The Sandlot is good all day, in the mode to expect a customer to ask to rent it.
The ONLY PG-13 movies I'd consider putting on would be something like The School of Rock,
a movie which SHOULD have been rated PG in the first place.

All this stuff is fun, the job rules, and I got free rentals on anything that wasn't super new. But the downside ? The dark, dirty secrets of the job that nobody wants to know ?
You. The customer. You're our best friend, and sometimes our worst enemy.

Let me get it out of the way ::
Late Fees.
Blockbuster claims to have eliminated them, and Netflix uses them as a tool for selling.
If a customer has late fees on their account, I automatically tense up, ease in my soft, sweet-not-harsh voice, and say, as politely as possible . . "You have a six-dollar fee on your account "

You might be saying , Why I am preparing for this with some sort of fear ? Well, I'm sorry, but for every nice person who takes responsibility for their fees,
there are about a dozen people who

a) say they never rented the movie (I would NEVER rent "Boogie Nights!)

b) blame someone else in their allowed renters of the account
(which leads to the ol' "IT WAS MY KIDS" thang. Oi, the most tired phrase in the book).

or the kicker
c) blame us.
(or D) Anything you can think of. I've heard it)

Yeah. Us. The store. The place, because they often believe we put the fee there, to differ them from
renting in the future, since we're giving them extra charges. You know, I will admit that sometimes we don't check them in to the minute of due time, since you waiting til the last minute anyway - there are time tacks on all returns, so if it's too the minute, mention and it'll be waived. But come on. It's like $6, $12, $105 (oh believe me, I've seen higher).
If you cannot return the movie on time, maybe you shouldn't be renting that overnight movie,
or getting the kids The Incredibles for the hundredth time (just buy it already -- they love it).
Responsibility is something you're taught in grade school, and if you cannot face it, then get out of the store. Remember, it's our movie we paid for and let YOU rent.

But there are obvious situations which fees are 110% wrong. The movie was re-shelved w/o check-in.
It got stuck in your VCR, and we told you we'd waive the fee, but an employee forgot to do so. You know, if you're polite, we're polite. If you ask questions, we'll give answers. It's as simple as that.

Now, back to the tensing up over fees, on my end. There was one particular customer whom I hated more than -- well, Brett Ratner.

This woman thought ::

a) the vhs which fell behind her entertainment system was not her responsibility.
It was over a week late, and an overnight movie as well .. . $3 x 7+ isn't pennies.
Plus, she never called us to make a bargain on the fee or anything.

b) that our prices were OUTRAGEOUS
(This was one of her earlier rants, about a year into my position, and yet, she continued to rent until the day I left five years later.)

c)that even if she returned the movies TWO HOURS after due time, as we're about to close too, that we'd take the fee off because she was taking her kids to soccer.

She begged. She pleaded. But not one of her cases for waving was legit to get past my managers
(if you have a problem at a video store, just ask for the manager. Don't subject the general employee to their problem . .there's really not so much we can do except hold your hand for about a minute, if we're even willing).

I did put a note on her account before I left the job, since it seemed to me that I was always the one experiencing her wrath. This woman was psycho, and even threatened me once.
But I could not let anyone else have issues with her without being warned.

-
SETTING the negativity aside, in the customer service aspect, giving recs were my favorite part of the job. The simple satisfaction of giving someone something to enjoy for 90 - 120 min or so, something they might have never considered, all because I told them to get it -- it feels great. And then the follow up .. the regulars would listen to me, or even inform me about other employees recs - - discussing movies is FUN, isn't it ? I wanted whomever walking out of that store with the right movie for them, not the general public, and not because Roger Ebert said so. It's my job to help you,
and I'm gonna do my best to read what you've got to say.

I had some issues with the job- how we did business, ordering certain movies, etc.
That's going to happen no matter what if you're not running the joint yourself - and that's why I left the job. I was never going to be the boss, it would never be my movie paradise, where there would be contests, special promotions, etc. and we'd carry the entire Criterion collection.
When I started to question motives for business, I knew it was time for me to go. I would be there hating the new rules, knowing that I had another job at the same time, because I wasn't getting enough hours. I had to leave when I did because I had two reasons to go :
I was moving, and I didn't want to go from walking to driving out of the way to somewhere that I had issues with.

But don't we all have issues with our jobs ? I know I do at my current job,
but it was definitely time to exit. My last shift I watched The SANDLOT, and left in the mid afternoon.
The ride was fun, and I'd consider doing it again, but not soon.
For now, I'm going to sit in the theater, watch my DVDs, and not have to worry if I locked the store door, or updated someone account info. It's a fun job, but it can be rough.

Maybe in the future, some employee at a video store will tell a customer to see the movie I had a hand in making - that is my dream. And dammit, wouldn't it be nice.