Doggone right with Mark Brighton

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June 26, 2007

Martian Warming

While perusing the Internet last night, I came across an interesting article in the London Times of 4/29/2007. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1720024.ece

It appears that the Martian climate is changing so rapidly that it may lose its southern ice cap. This information came originally from NASA’s Mars Global Explorer. Oddly enough it is being reported that the change is similar to that which appears to be occurring on earth - +0.5oC.

Granted, at minus 81 degrees Fahrenheit Mars is significantly cooler than earth, so it will be a while before any Martian sunbathing occurs. This does, however, raise several interesting questions. When did the Martians develop carbon spewing SUVs? Do they plant trees to offset the carbon? Will Martian polar bears drown before their Nancy Pelosi can save them? Did their Al Gore win an Oscar for his movie? Is there a Bush/Cheney oil conspiracy on Mars? The list of questions is endless.

The article speculates as to what the Martian heating mechanism could be. Logic has long since left the scene when discussing climate change with a far left Earthling or far left Martian, but I would speculate that the one common element between the two planets – Mr. Sun – might have something to do with the cause.

This gives a whole new slant to the term “little ‘green’ men from Mars.”

Posted by Mark Brighton at 11:06 PM | Comments (4)

June 04, 2007

Indulgences

“I think that I shall never see a poem lovely as a tree.” Multiply that by 400 and you will have the gist of what some environmentalists are currently experiencing, at least according to the Associated Press in the Herald (5/28/2007.)

http://www.seacoastonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070528/NEWS/705280326/-1/NEWS09&sfad=1

“For $40, Trees for the Future will plant 400 trees in a developing country to handle your car emissions.” These are also called carbon offsets. The writer of the story quotes someone who nails it dead on by calling them “offset indulgences.” In the Church of old one could buy one’s way out of purgatory by purchasing an indulgence. A certain amount of cash or commodity could trim your time in the middle ground between heaven and hell. The Church of old used it as a fund raising scheme before they had bingo.

Despite protests from the secular left that they don’t believe in religion, dealing in “offset indulgences” is the act of an organized religion with its dogma outlined in “An Inconvenient Truth” by Saint Al of the Carbon Footprint. Saint Thomas Aquinas once queried, “How many angels can dance on the point of a needle?” But, we now have a deeper theological conundrum: how much carbon does a tree offset? Obviously, it depends on whether it’s a Giant Sequoia or a lowly Juniper.

Penance is still big business and one wonders how an earnest “greeny” would define purgatory? A vision of Al Gore wearing a hair shirt made of stiff polyester fiber manufactured by a carbon spewing Union Carbide plant in
Indiana, while flagellating himself with a whip made of thick nylon comes to mind - all the while chanting, “Repent, all yea SUV owners! Repent!” And to make up for driving that gas guzzling behemoth, all you need do is spend $40 to align="left" plant a few trees on someone else’s land in someone else’s country..

Do these “greenies” actually think that there is someone in a third world country counting out 400 trees? Has anyone asked any third world country if they want all these trees? What hubris! Some entrepreneurial spirit on this newly sanctified ground with a big grin on his face is pocketing the 40 bucks saying, “Take that, you colonialist idiots!”

Our bet is that these countries would prefer the Union Carbide plant making Al Gore’s hair shirt along with the 2000 jobs it would bring so that people can feed their families.

Those on the far left are truly burdened by guilt. And this represents the ultimate in outsourcing – the outsourcing of guilt. But this raises an excellent opportunity for the city of Portsmouth. The difference between the Islington St corridor and the Middle St corridor is easy to isolate. It’s trees. I bet that for $80 Trees for The Future will plant all the trees we need along Islington with enough left over to cover the Jones Ave landfill. That ought to get some “greenies” out of their self inflicted purgatory.

Posted by Mark Brighton at 07:08 PM | Comments (10)