Doggone right with Mark Brighton

« September 2007 | Main | January 2008 »

October 14, 2007

Al Gore - Eco terrorist

We were recently treated to a letter on the editorial page of the Herald proclaiming Christopher Columbus a terrorist. In the interests of open mindedness I would like to make a counter claim. I believe Al Gore to be an eco-terrorist.

On the face of it, my claim is as equally absurd as that about Columbus. After all, Al “The Sky is Falling” Gore just won a Nobel Prize for Peace for his Magnus Opus concerning global warming. But at least my claim seems to have the backing of a British High Court Justice.

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22559777-25717,00.html

As a the result of a law suit filed by a British truck driver who did not want his children exposed to Gore’s fabrications, this Justice ruled that there were 11 misstatements of fact (aka lies) in Gore’s documentary, “An Inconvenient Truth.” Who would have thought, that inconveniently for Al, polar bears can drown for reasons other than global warming?

The judge ruled that before British school children could be terrorizedand have the living snot scared out of them (my words - not his) by watching this movie, they had to have these 11 misstatements of fact clarified for them. It would appear our British cousins still have something to teach us.

Since Gore won a million bucks along with this Nobel, it appears that the Stockholm committee sells itself pretty cheap. It works out to something less than $100,000 per lie. Er … sorry - per misstatement of fact.

Posted by Mark Brighton at 09:10 PM | Comments (27)

October 08, 2007

Edwards - Carbon Credits

I would like to thank the Herald for hosting the candidates’ forums. Any candidate who doesn’t take advantage of these would be a fool. Here’s a word to the Thompson campaign: call the Herald immediately. I don’t believe they are charging anything and we would certainly like to here from Fred – something… anything! At least let New Hampshire know you haven’t dropped off the face of the earth.

I just finished listening to John Edwards at the most recent of these forums and was struck by several things. He gave impassioned, thoughtful answers to questions about the central issue of this election cycle – Iraq. He didn’t equivocate. Whether it can be done safely or not was not addressed adequately, but under his administration troops would be out in a year.

Edwards kept a good cadence as he spoke. The only thing missing from the choir at the end of each thought was a resounding “amen.” It was a lonely place to be.

As he spoke I became mesmerized, no, I would say hypnotized, by his hair. I was close to the front and there was a good light gleaming off the aforementioned locks. It wasn’t a halo effect, but each strand was perfectly in place. As I was listening, I was waiting for one of these strands to move, especially the small piece strategically lying across his forehead.

As he ran his fingers through his hair and it quickly fell back into place, I thought I heard the crack of a whip. But my hearing isn’t what it used to be, so I may have imagined it.

By the conclusion of the event, I realized I had to take back everything I have ever said about John Edwards.
His haircut WAS really worth 400 bucks. Some of us don’t have much hair left, but if you do, and are going out in a strong breeze, I recommend getting the name of his barber.

Posted by Mark Brighton at 06:08 PM | Comments (19)