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Gift Giving...

Since there are only five days left in the holiday shopping season I thought I’d lend some words of wisdom about couple gift giving. Although I’m sure most of you have already bought your special someone their Christmas gift, when you’re in a newer relationship you tend to procrastinate a little more. Not because you don’t care or you’re just busy, but usually because you’re just not sure of the “perfect” gift for your situation.

Whether you realize it or not, what you give your partner really says a lot about your feelings for them and the relationship you have. When you’re in a new relationship it can be especially hard. You don’t want it to say too much or too little and you don’t want it to send off signals you aren’t prepared for. So with this thinking I’ve created a little guide to help newer couples with their holiday shopping.

Dating A Few Weeks—If you’ve only been dating a few weeks something small will be just perfect. You’re not that serious so the gift doesn’t need to be that serious. It can even be, dare I say it, something practical. Think about things they use in everyday life, like a smaller bottle of their favorite perfume/cologne. Another great idea is a CD they love or maybe a movie you saw together. You don’t want to get too sentimental, but you want to show that you put thought in to the gift and didn’t just pick up the first thing you saw.

Dating A Few Months—When you’ve been dating more than say two months you’ve definitely started to form some sentimental memories, so use those as your gift stepping stone. This is also a really great time for homemade gifts: photo collages, mix-CDs (as corny as they may be haha), things like that. You’re also still in that “one gift only” stage, so don’t break the rule. If you do want to get your partner more than one thing, talk to them about it first. Set a gift limit and possibly a spending limit so that no one feels uncomfortable when you switch.

Dating At Least Nine Months—Relationships move fast nowadays and so in my eyes, nine months is a pretty serious relationship. You figure, chances are you’ve spent at least three minor holidays together, one of your birthdays, and probably met friends of the other partner and possibly some family. And if you’re at the right age, you may have actually discussed marriage already. This always seems to be the hardest to buy for though. Sentimental things are great, but should not be the bulk of your gift. I always like to give one sentimental thing to show that I really put thought in to his gifts. Last year for example, I made a video on the computer of pictures of us that went to two songs that made me think of him. It’s something they can keep forever and like I said, it shows you really really care. And something sentimental can be bought too. My boyfriend has started making me a collection of every DVD we’ve ever seen together so that we’ll always be able to watch them and think back to that time. Every “present-giving-day” he gives me another and I immediately think of that day, which always makes me smile. Sentimental gifts can’t be everything at this stage of a relationship though. You need to have some store bought things. Depending on the type of person they are, this can either be really easy or really hard. No matter what though it’s important to first set some ground rules. Either set a spending limit or a number of gift limit. You don’t want anyone feeling uncomfortable Christmas day. When it comes to actually buying the gifts, ask them if there is something maybe they need or they’d like. It may be obvious, but hey it works. Also look around their house to see what kind of stuff they like. Ask their friends. Think of things they’ve mentioned in the last few months. And just think about them as a person. What do they like, what do they have a passion for, what’s important to them. This should not be stressful. It should actually be fun.

In the end, I’m sure whatever you give your partner they’ll love. There are a few things to think about though. Stay away from gifts like socks, gift cards (they’re really impersonal), and fruit baskets. And whatever you do, do not go overboard. Spending an extreme amount of money on someone only makes them feel less and upset, not special and like you love them. Also make sure you gear your gift toward the seriousness of your relationship. If you’re really serious even though you’ve only been together three months, a nose hair trimmer might not be the best gift to get him. All in all, shopping should be fun and icing on the cake to the holiday season. Hope everyone has a great shopping experience and gets/gives great gifts. Happy Holidays!

Posted by Manda at 10:41 AM | Comments (2)

Meeting The Family... (Christmas Edition)

Now this blog may look familiar but that’s because, well, it is. I decided to revamp my Thanksgiving version of “Meeting The Family” for Christmas time, since this is the 2nd chance for people to be meeting their partner’s family. If you read the Thanksgiving one and your first meeting still didn’t go as well as hoped, read this one over and you might get some ideas of how to work on what you did wrong. You never know, but it’s always worth a shot.

Well it’s finally Christmas (almost) and you know what that means? It’s probably time to introduce you’re special someone to your family. If they have already met your family, that’s awesome and I hope it went well, but if they haven’t this is the 2nd of 2 (possibly 3 if you count New Year’s Eve) holiday chances to introduce everyone in one sweep. While this can be very stressful it shouldn’t kill you, and it should honestly be kind of a relief, unless it doesn’t go well of course. But to help it go along smoothly here are a few tips for you and a few tips for your partner.

If It’s Your Family:
1. Prep your partner- If there is anything important that your partner should know about your family, ie things to mention and not to mention, bring them up a day or so ahead of time. It could be very embarrassing for the both of you if your Uncle Fred is an intense animal rights activist and your partner decides to talk to him about the hunting trip he took last fall.
2. Don’t leave your partner alone too soon- Remember that your partner doesn’t really know these people so they may not be really comfortable with you leaving them alone right away. If you have to leave them at any time just ask them if it’s ok and if it’s not figure out a way to work around it. Most of the time they’ll be ok though.
3. Tell your family about your partner- Don’t show up with your partner out of nowhere. Make sure whoever is hosting knows that he/she will be there and of any specifics they should know, such as allergies or special requests.

If You’re Meeting His/Her Family:
1. Make the effort- It’s really important to make an effort to get to know these people, especially if you and your partner are really serious. I mean these people could be family someday. Also it looks really bad if you’re standing in the corner not socializing or talking to anyone. So get out there and mingle!
2. Bring a gift or dish- As with any dinner party you go to it’s always a good idea to bring a small something for the host/hostess. Possible ideas for Christmas are a dessert (store bought is great, but if you can bake, homemade is amazing) that people will love and you know (please check with your partner in advance) won’t be there, or a bottle of sparkling wine, champagne, or apple cider. Please, please, please, I repeat please (for the 4th time haha) DO NOT bring a fruit cake! You’ll only embarrass yourself.
3. Schmooze- Schmooze your ass off. Seriously! It sounds corny to kiss butt, and I don’t want you to act unlike yourself, but it’s really important to schmooze the host/hostess and his/her parents. Again, they could be family someday.
4. Be yourself- It’s always important to be yourself around your partner’s family. If you’re nervous, you might want to have a ½ a glass of wine or something when you first get there to loosen up. But don’t, under any circumstances, get hammered. You’ll only embarrass yourself, your partner, and their family, and there is no way you’ll make a good impression. Just be calm and relax. If you’re yourself, I’m sure they’ll love you.

I really hope all the tips and tricks will help make your first meeting run smoothly. And I hope everyone has a great and safe Christmas Eve/Day!!!

Posted by Manda at 05:28 PM | Comments (0)

The Worry Of Wandering Eyes...

We all, at one time or another, worry that our special someone will wander away with someone else leaving us lonely and heartbroken. It’s common and normal. It usually comes when we become very serious about the person and it lasts until who knows how long. Sometimes a month, sometimes a year, sometimes forever. I know about this because I have fallen victim to it many a times.

And maybe I personally worry so much because the first couple of times the worries set in I unfortunately actually was left lonely and heartbroken. The first left me for his actual girlfriend (I know, I know, as the “other woman” I should have expected it) and the second left me for someone who was actually a better fit for him, although I was still bitter and upset for quite sometime because well, I was still alone. Now, with my current partner, I do worry. I mean how can I not. Everyone always loves him and has that type of personality that sometimes I fear people will confuse for flirting. But it’s not like this is about jealousy. Jealousy is a totally different subject. Jealousy is not letting someone do something or see someone. This is just being worried that in everyday life your partner may find someone better suited for them than yourself. I think it’s ok to worry though. I mean it’s human nature. But we can’t let that overshadow our happiness. We can’t let it consume our lives. I just want everyone out there to understand that not every relationships ends up in heartbreak. And that’s hard to understand since all we see is people divorcing and breaking up. It’s all over the television, magazines, in our own homes. I mean it seems like people just don’t feel the same way about love as they did in say the 50s. Or maybe they just don’t act like they feel the same way, who knows. But, and call me a hopeless romantic if you must, I do believe that there is love and happiness for everyone. You just can’t let minor things like the fact that your partner makes a comment about the girl/guy on television, in a magazine, ECT steer you from reality. And maybe if you can’t help but do that, maybe it’s not about your partner, maybe you have some underlying issue(s) that you can’t get past. Please don’t get all defensive, I mean it is possible. And if this is the case, then you need to be working out your own issues way before you start getting seriously involved with other people’s issues. So while it is ok to worry a little, it is not ok to worry a lot. Give your partner a little slack (unless they’ve done something to not deserve the slack and in that case they probably shouldn’t still be around anyways) and give yourself a little less stress. Not everyone is untrustworthy. Not everyone is a cheater. Not everyone will do you wrong.

Posted by Manda at 05:48 PM | Comments (0)

Apology...

To all my readers I just wanted to send out a short apology for my absence lately.

I have been extremely busy this past week with work, preparing/taking finals, and getting ready to come back home for a month so have not been able to write any new blogs. I am so sorry for this and promise to have a new blog for Monday. Thank you again for your patience.

Posted by Manda at 12:18 AM | Comments (1)