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Broken Hearts...

Valentine’s Day was yesterday, and I hope all of you had a wonderful day, no matter what you were doing or who you were with, but now that it’s over it’s time to talk about something a little sadder; breaking up.

Breaking up is hard at any age. Some say it gets harder as you get older, some say it’s the roughest when you’re a child; either way though, it hurts.

When you’re an adult at least you’re better prepared for it, but the feelings run deeper and have probably lasted longer so the preparedness doesn’t really help. When you’re a child/young adult your heart is much more fragile and naïve, so even the slightest tear can feel like hell.

Well recently I was given the opportunity to write an article for a small magazine down here for teenagers about how to get over a broken heart and I was hoping you, my readers who have been through this, could help me out a little bit. I’m only one person, and I’ve only had my experiences. I think that the best way to help these kids is to have the words of many different people who have been in many different situations.

If you have any comments on the subject, you can leave them on here, but it’s best to e-mail me at a_a_hamilton@hotmail.com . If you do e-mail me, be sure to leave your name and e-mail address and a note saying that it is ok for me to quote you (if I should choose to do so) in the article. Thanks everyone for your help. Check back next week for my blog on Valentine’s Day- “Should We Really Be Celebrating This?”

Posted by Manda at 12:37 PM | Comments (4)

Equality Equals Love...

Yesterday, in my women's studies class, we were discussing what signifies that you're in love. I sat there thinking, while listening to others reason, and I came up with one thing: equality.

I wasn't the only one in my class who came up with equality as an answer. That was the first thing everyone brought up. I completely believe in the fact that equality, and respect, equals love, but here's the problem with that: everyone has different ideas of equality.

For instance, I personally believe that equality in a relationship isn't just about one another having equal say in what happens or what you do or how you feel about something; to me equality also means splitting the chores evenly, both contributing to the household income, sharing closet space, ect. This may not be other people's views though. Obviously, a stay at home mother would probably say that even though she isn't making any money, she is still contributing a large amount to the household, which she is, she definitly definitly is, but it's in a different way than her husband/partner who goes to work. And that's not a bad thing. Just because they contribute differently, doesn't mean they don't contribute equally. Or does it? Think for a second about that. How can two things that are different, be equal? Rice and pizza are not equal because they are different, but rice and rice (the same kind) are equal and not different. In a way, the couple doesn't contribute equally, which again isn't a bad thing. She's not a bad person because she doesn't contribute to the income, and he's not a bad person because he doesn't stay home with his kids. But we have to understand that those two things aren't equal; they just aren't. They're different, but in a good way.

So, that brings me to my point. If everyone has different views of equality, including the two people in the relationship, and most people would say that equality and respect signify love, then how can we ever say we're fully in love? It's an interesting concept, it's a really tough concept too. To think that even though you've been with someone 25 years and you know you're in love, that it's possible you aren't in love as much as you think. It's a good thing to think about. And I don't want everyone freaking out leaving me comments "we are equal and we are in love", I mean you absolutly can if you want and I'd love to hear your opinion, but that's not what I'm saying, exactly. I'm just saying that in reality no one is equal; we'll never be truely equal; but every little thing we are equal in is another little piece of a puzzle.

When it all comes down to it, love is a puzzle. Each piece makes you a little more equal and each new relationship has a different amount of pieces. Usually, or hopefully, the person you marry/spend the rest of your life with has the most pieces of the puzzle put together.

Now you can be upset about this thought of my mine, you can think it's ridiculous and that I don't know anything. That's ok. But even if you don't agree with me, it's important to see that if you don't feel any bit equal in your relationship, no matter how in love you say you are, then maybe you need to reevaluate things. Think about the puzzle. Remember, love isn't words, it's a feeling; it doesn't matter what you say, it's what you feel inside. And I can guarantee that if you don't feel equal inside, you don't feel love inside either.

Posted by Manda at 09:01 AM | Comments (3)

Stress Free Super Bowl Party...

Planning a Super Bowl party can be stressful, I mean planning any party can be stressful. But if you break things in to pieces and organize yourself, it can actually turn out to be not so bad. I put together a few tips I thought might help, so enjoy and good luck!

1. Decorations: Decorations are the easiest thing at a Super Bowl party. They pretty much consist of just the plates, glasses, and silverware. Make things easy on yourself and use plastic and paper, no real dishes and what not. At your local grocery store you’ll find tons of Super Bowl themed party things, such as plates, cups, and streamers. Also try and look for things you have around your house that are themed in your favorite team or the Super Bowl team’s colors.

2. Food: I think food is what overwhelms people about throwing parties. You never want too little, but you definitely don’t want to be left with leftovers for days. When thinking about food to have, think about what you know people love and will eat. Also think about things that are easy to eat. You don’t want anything too messy or too hard to eat standing up. Now you can always make everything from scratch (or partial scratch) if you like, but if that isn’t your style or you don’t have the time, no need to worry. Buy platters from the deli, jarred salsas, and frozen and boxed entrees (like meatballs and chili). If you’re like me and feel the need to make most everything from scratch, it’s really really really important to be organized. There is a lot of stuff that you wouldn’t think you could do ahead of time, but that you definitely can. And not everything needs to be from scratch. Buy a fruit and/or vegetable platter and then make a few different dips. Don’t actually spend the time to cut up all that stuff; it’s a waste. Also try to make stuff that you have most of the things for already in your pantry, that way you aren’t breaking the bank. A great place to find Super Bowl geared recipes is Food Networks’s www.foodtv.com. They have a whole Super Bowl section full of amazing recipes.

3. Kids: Kids are the hardest to entertain at any party, never mind a party that isn’t about them. So the best thing to do is have things especially for them. Take the time out to make foods just for them, like small PB & Js, ants on a log, and chicken tenders. Also, do some things that get them involved. A woman in front of me at the grocery store the other day had s’more stuff that she was going to have the kids do at her party. Another great idea is make-your-own ice cream sundaes. I mean every kid loves those. Another thing they could do is Super Bowl themed crafts. I’m sure they could make some great things to show at the end of the game!

Posted by Manda at 01:38 PM | Comments (0)

Don't Dread Super Bowl Sunday...

Well, it’s that time of the year again—the Super Bowl! The day of the year that most women, and some men, dread for usually one of two reasons: 1) they are all of the sudden widowed for the day or 2) they have a million people, or worse a million men, taking over their house for the day. Either way it makes for possibly the most stressful day of the year next to major holidays. Fortunately, there is a way to get through it with flying colors, no matter what your situation.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love football and I love the Super Bowl too, but Super Bowl Sunday in general is not my favorite day. Lucky for me, at the moment I’m 1500 miles from my boyfriend and therefore Super Bowl Sunday doesn’t affect me too much. But for all those women, or men for that matter, out there who are affecting by this day and dread the day like they dread the flu, here are a couple of tips to get you through.

1. Plan something ahead of time to do that day, something just for you— If your partner is going to have a special day, why shouldn’t you? And why should you feel obligated to stick around while they’re home watching the game with their friends or to go to whoever’s house to watch the game with them? Go out and do something special for you. Splurge on yourself. If you love something, but never get to do it because you’re always so busy, take this day to do just that. Or even better, if you’re like me and just can’t find enough hours in the day, take the day to get ahead. This really only works if you’re partner is going somewhere else to celebrate, which will give you some much needed piece and quiet, but if your partner is having people over, maybe go out and run the errands you need to do or if you have work on paper/computer to do, head to the library or park or something.

2. Get a baby sitter for the kids— I’m sure a lot of you just read number one and said yea that’s great that my partner and I are going to have a day for just us, but what do I do with my kids? You don’t want to leave them with your partner, but if you take them you might not get the things you want to do done. So what is the easiest solution? A baby sitter! I believe that every parent needs a break every once in a while, and a baby sitter is just the person to help you with that break. Now you may be thinking, but it’s Super Bowl Sunday, who is going to want to baby sit? Well, while there are millions of people who watch the Super Bowl, it’s important to remember that there are millions of people who don’t watch the Super Bowl. See if maybe they’ll help you out for the day. Especially teenagers. I mean what else do they really have to do on a Sunday? And they are always looking to make extra cash seeing as when you’re a teenager you’re always broke! So give some friends, family, or neighborhood kids you know a call and hopefully they’ll be happy to help you out.

3. Plan a party for you and your partner’s friends, whether they like football or not— While a Super Bowl party should revolve around the football/Super Bowl theme, there is no reason that only your friends who watch the Super Bowl should be invited to the party. Why not have all your family and friends over for a big get together? It might take a little extra planning, but it is possible to find things to make everyone happy. Plus, everyone loves a good party no matter what the occasion. It’ll give not only you a break from life, but your friends and family too. And I know, planning a party for a large group can be quite a hassle and a lot of hard work, but it’s really not that bad if you cut everything in to pieces and think things through. I mean nobody said you had to cook everything from scratch! Check out my blog “Stress-less Super Bowl Planning” for some great tips!

All in all the Super Bowl should be a day of fun, not a day of stress. There is always something for someone, you just have to be creative and remember that just because it’s Super Bowl Sunday doesn’t mean what you do has to be Super Bowl related. I hope everyone has a great Sunday and lots of fun! Go Teams!

Posted by Manda at 01:33 PM | Comments (0)