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But Honey I Just Fell On His/Her Lips, I Swear...

I love when your partner cheats on your and the best reason they can come up with is that it was an accident. No wait, an “accident”. Yes, that’s better. I’ve never had anyone use this reason on me, but if they did I would probably look that and laugh hysterically until I was rolling on the ground! I mean c’mon, does anyone actually buy that line?

Out of all the excuses for cheating I think this one makes me both the angriest and gives me the best laugh. An accident? Seriously, an accident? People who have accepted this as an excuse and taken their partner back after hearing this what were your reasons for this being an acceptable answer of why they cheating? Were they drunk or high? Was it an old flame? Or was just a “one time thing” (ouch if so – that’s a double whammy on the cheating reasons/excuses)?

Look, cheating is never an accident! I don’t care what the situation was or how hot you were feeling at the time. Feeling hot? Go take a cold shower! Usually after someone says “it was an accident” they follow with “it just sort of happened” or “I don’t know we were talking and the next thing I knew we were naked.” Cheating doesn’t just happen. There are a million moments when someone can choose to stop what is happening. They can take themselves out of the situation. They can stay clear of that person. They can even say something to that person. Unfortunately, during one of those many moments they decided to ignore all of those suggestions and just go for it. They’re an ass! You don’t need anyone like that! I mean if someone can’t make the right decision of should I cheat on my partner or not how can you trust them to make the right decision about anything else?

So next time your partner cheats on you (which I hope never happens) and they try to tell you it was an accident and/or they don’t know how it happens, laugh in their face for about ten minutes, tell them you’re way too good for them, and walk away never to look back. Seriously, stop looking back!

Posted by Manda at 08:58 PM | Comments (0)

How Dare You Let Anyone Call You Fat...

Why do people let their partners call them fat or ugly or stupid or any other hurtful comment? Honestly, how can you think someone loves you if everyday, or even just once, they say you look fat?

Now I’ll admit I used to be one of those people. I was a lot heavier when I was younger and some of my boyfriends said some pretty awful things to my face and behind my back. Even worse, back then I just accepted it and went on dating them. To this day I’m still not sure why I allowed it to happen.

I think a lot of times people do it because they want to be loved so much. They’re willing to put up with that part of the “relationship” (and I use that term very loosly) to get the affectionate and loving part. And I’m sure that a lot of times people are eventually so used to hearing it that they start to believe its true, thus making them feeling like they may as well put up with it because, if they are really fat/ugly/stupid/whatever like their partner says, no one else will want them. I think maybe that was my problem. I already had low self esteem. I was heavier than all my friends and boys didn’t really pay that much attention to me, so, among many other horrible things I did for attention, I let my boyfriends talk down to me because at least I had a boyfriend. I had someone I thought loved me.

Here’s the thing though – that’s not love! It’s just not! If someone truly loved you they would never say things like that to you. They may be honest with you and say a dress or a shirt or something isn’t very flattering, but they’re not going to call you fat ass or idiot every day.

And on that note, if someone truly loved you they’d never want you to change your personality or appearance because they were unhappy with it. I’ve seen this a lot on Dr. Phil and Oprah. There is also a big part in ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ about it. It’s mainly women saying they’re husbands think they’re fat or ugly. Recently there was a couple on Dr. Phil where the husband was so awful that he had almost convinced his wife to go on Extreme Makeover because she wasn’t as small anymore as she was when they got married (mind you she’s given birth to his children since then!) and didn’t look like his perfect woman Eva Longoria. Then he goes and tells Dr. Phil he loves her. How is that possible? I love my boyfriend more than anything and I would never even think of saying anything like that!

The bottom line is, don’t change yourself for anyone and never let anyone put you down. I may not know you personally, or maybe I do, but you’re an amazing beautiful person! And honestly, if you loved yourself that much, instead of dropping that supposed 20 lbs your partner says you need to lose, why don’t you drop your partner. The weight isn’t bringing you do, he/she is!

Posted by Manda at 09:16 PM | Comments (0)

Dear Too Good To Be Somebody's Bed Buddy...

So at the end of the chapter in ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ there is a little workbook with things you can do to help you realize that, well, he’s just not that into you. At the end of chapter three Greg and Liz give readers a chance to answer one of the many letters they get. I thought, this being an advice blog, I’d give it a shot. Hopefully it’ll even help some of you out there. Here’s the letter:

“Dear Pretty Girl who bought this book (that’s you),
I have been dating this guy for a couple of months. However, I’ve never actually been on an official date with him. He always tells me to meet him somewhere, like a bar or a friend’s house. He doesn’t seem like he wants to spend time alone with me unless we’re having sex. I like having sex with him – so can’t I keep doing that until he gets to know me better and realizes he’s really into me? (46)”

Dear Too Good To Be Somebody’s Bed Buddy,
So basically you just have a bed buddy? If that’s really OK with you than that’s fine, but honestly it doesn’t sound like you’re really that OK with it. If this guy really wanted to be your boyfriend and not just have sex with you or use you as a trophy to show to his friends whenever they go out, he would be on his hands and knees begging you to be his official girlfriend. There are so many other guys out there who probably are, or would be if you didn’t have this guy with you all the time, on their hands and knees begging you to be their girlfriend. Why waste your time with this loser? I mean wouldn’t you rather love having sex with someone who does want to spend alone time with you outside of the bedroom (or kitchen or laundry room or wherever you kinky kids are doing it!). There are those guys out there. I promise! You need to look at this situation without your rose colored glasses on, realize that this guy is just not that into you, and move on to someone who is. You deserve it!

Behrendt, Greg and Liz Tuccillo. He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys. Simon Spotlight Entertainment. New York. 2004.

Posted by Manda at 08:39 AM | Comments (0)