Contrary to popular beliefs, there is a right way and a wrong way to break up with someone. To figure it out all you have to do is take in to consideration a few facts about the relationship. But if you don’t really feel like taking the time to analyze the whole thing and figure it out yourself (which I’d appreciate because if you did do it yourself why the hell would you need this entry haha), here are a few ways to break up with some the right way:

1. Choosing The Place— Where you are when you breakup with your partner really depends on how long you were together. If you’ve only been out a few times or have only been together a few weeks, you should be able to get away with a phone call saying it just isn’t working out and you want to move on. If you’ve been dating a few months, I recommend going out for drinks. Do it somewhere mutually liked that is comfortable for the both of you. Any sort of long term relationship, whatever your definition of that may be (I’d say 1 ½ to 2 years) really calls for going to their house or a park, somewhere quiet where the both of you can really talk it out. If you plan on, and actually think it will work out, be friends after the relationship, then maybe you could go to lunch or dinner, but please remember to pay your way. You aren’t dating anymore so don’t expect to not have to chip in for the bill.

2. Choosing A Style— The style of your breakup is very important and should reflect why you are breaking up. A common reason for breaking up is that it just isn’t working out anymore. This phrase can include not clicking as a couple, bored, feeling not as much interest in the other person, feeling you’re moving in different directions in your life, feeling it isn’t the right time in your life for you to be together, ect. If this is your reason, you should make sure you talk to them in a sweet tone, show them your sad about the breakup too, and most importantly, make sure they realize it isn’t them or you, it’s the two of you together. If they don’t make you a priority (you don’t need to be number 1 though), I would say go to their house. Tell them all your feelings and explain to them that you don’t want to be in a relationship where you feel like you don’t matter. Make it crisp, clear, and to the point. If your partner was mean to you (I mean seriously mean to you), either meet in a public place or if they were a real ass, just call them up. Tell them sternly and powerfully (do not back down!) how they make you feel and that they aren’t worth your time anymore. If they had or are having an affair (you must have proof), feel free to meet them in a public place (not a restaurant!!!) and make a huge scene! Yell, scream, cry, whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better. You don’t have to make a scene obviously but I’m pretty sure I would, and I don’t care how immature that makes me look. haha And finally, if you are having the affair (naught naughty!) or are even considering having one, remember to act casual and be calm. If you want you can even use the tactics from “it’s just not working out”. You can of course tell them the truth, that you’re having an affair that is, but why pour salt on an open wound. Or if they’re really an ass, tell them right out you’re seeing someone else and that they were never good in bed anyways! haha

3. Word Things Carefully— There isn’t really too much that I can do here. I mean every breakup is different and so is every breakup speech. A few quick thoughts though. Your tone should reflect why you’re breaking up. If it’s because of something bad, be strong. If it’s because it’s not working out, be soft. Oh and never ever ever, seriously ever, use the phrase “It’s not you, it’s me”. The whole world knows that’s bull, so why wouldn’t your partner?

4. Future Contact Or Not?—It’s an important decision, ya know to see them again or not. Unfortuantely it’s not all your decision though. If they don’t want to see you again, they won’t. But if you do want to eventually be friends with them, put it on the table. Even if they don’t reply right that second, you never know if they’ll really call again or not. If they’re really upset though, I’m not sure I’d say anything to them about seeing eachother again, especially if they’re upsetness (shut up, I know its not a real word haha) is extreme anger! If they ask you if you want to see them again, be honest. Please don’t tell them yes if you never plan on calling or seeing them again. You wouldn’t want anyone to do it to you so please don’t do it to anyone else.

How you breakup with someone is really all about two things: how long you dated and how your relationship was. Although you should really keep in mind why you’re breaking up when deciding how to do it, it doesn’t need to be a deciding factor. And after the breakup is finally over, you should feel a sense of relief and calming. If you go home and cry your eyes out all night, that’s ok. Just because you’re crying doesn’t mean it’s out of sadness. If you go home and cry for weeks, maybe you should examine why you broke up in with them in the first place. Breaking up is a hard thing, we all know that. But keep in mind that missing out on what could be because you’re afraid to get out of what is, is so much harder.

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